In this post I want to remind you of a simple fact, and that is how doing less can give you more ✨
This saying might sound counterintuitive. But it really is true. When you give your attention and full focus to one thing, you will not only accomplish it easier, but you will also do it better, which will give you better results in the long run.
If you work on a project, while you at the same time are replying to emails, cooking food etc. then you do not give that project your full attention & energy.
Your work deserves your full attention. So do yourself the honour of giving yourself time to dive into and focus on one thing at a time.
You will come to see how you get better results, and how the work that you do, will be able to touch even more people, because of the energy you have put into it.
As kids we learn things by our parents and those closest to us, this can be both good and bad. If you have limiting self-beliefs, then reprogramming your mind is a way to turn your confidence around and start believing more in yourself ✨
The majority of our lives we run on autopilot – we do the things we have learned to do over and over again. However these things might not always be in your best interest.
Our subconscious mind runs on autopilot, and the things we have learned to do subconsciously we learned in our early childhood days. By watching and observing our parents and those closest to us. This can be both good and bad. You have learned to walk and talk this way, which is wonderful things!
But you might also have learned self-doubt, negative self-talk, how you handle conflicts etc. this way. If you want to change how you live your life and your habits, you need to dig real deep and find out what beliefs you learned in your early childhood and then start to actively work on changing those daily.
This can fx be if you grew up with a parent who talked negatively about themselves, you might feel like that yourself and have convinced yourself over years and years of this way of talking to yourself that you are not good enough. If you want to change this, start to work with affirmations. See this post for examples on positive affirmations. Start to write things down that you feel good about yourself, tell it to yourself – and do it consistently! These subconscious beliefs take time to change, so you have to keep working on them, otherwise it’s easy to fall right back into old destructive patterns 💫
Questions for you: Which beliefs did you carry with you from childhood? What behaviours are you actively trying to change? Or would like to change? ✨
Learning to see that there is no such thing as failure has been one of the biggest life-changing experience for me.
Whenever you experience something that you think is a ‘failure’, learn to see this thing as a way to figure out what is right and what is not right for you. Of course it’s okay to be sad and down about something not working out the way you had hoped for, but if you can change your way of thinking of it as a failure to a lesson, you have a lot to gain!
Perhaps you have experienced a failed relationship. But don’t view it as a failure and a waste of time. Through that ‘failed’ relationship you learned what it is that you actually want out of a relationship, and what you do not want in one.
“If you learn from defeat, you haven’t really lost”
Perhaps you have experienced a job that was certainly not right for you. Don’t view it as a waste of time or mistake. If you hadn’t had that job, you wouldn’t know what it is that you do not want, and what it is that you do want, in a job.
Learn to see failures not as failures, but as things guiding you towards what is just right for you. Learn to see failures as good things taking you exactly towards where YOU are meant to be, and life will be way more fun and beautiful in this way!
I want to end this little write with reminding you of Thomas Edison, the guy who eventually invented the light bulb. Edison failed many, many times, but said that: “I haven’t failed, I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work“.
One of my big inspirations Marie Forleo, always says that “If it’s not scheduled, it’s not real“, and that’s what I want to talk about today.
If you don’t already know Marie Forleo and her youtube channel MarieTV, then you should definitely check it out! She has so much inspiring content, and has interviews with so many inspirational people (Tony Robbins, Brené Brown, Elizabeth Gilbert, Steven Pressfield etc.).
Anyways, Marie have this saying that “If it’s not scheduled, it’s not real“. And man, is that right! Yet, it’s so easy to forget.
We often have a list of all the things we want to do; workout, do meal prepping, hang out with our friends, work on that project etc. However, if you do not plan it – schedule it – find specific date and time for when to do it, it’s not real.
So in order to make your dreams and goals real, you need to sit down with yourself and plan when and where to work on your goals.
“If it’s not scheduled, it’s not real” – Marie Forleo
Let’s take an example: you want to start working out. That’s great. However, it’s also very unclear and vague. When should that be? And how?
Take your calendar out and make a commitment with yourself: Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday I will go for a 25 minutes run.
Or, it could be: Every Tuesday from 9-11am I’ll work on creating content for my business.
Make it concrete. Make it actionable. Then put it into your calendar, and keep your commitments to yourself!
Question for you: What do you want to work on? Fx do you want to start working out? Do you have a specific project you want to work on? How can you break it down into actionable steps, and schedule it in your calendar?
If you want anything in life, the first step to getting it, is knowing what it is that you want. Get clear on what you want in life.
Sounds pretty obvious, right? However, many of us don’t have a clear vision of exactly what it is that we want, so we don’t really know what we are going after, which can end up with us getting something that we don’t actually want.
Perhaps you have heard about ‘the law of attraction’, which is about how ‘like attract like’ and how what you focus on is what you get more of. Have you ever thought about what your main focus is? Is it on the things that you want in your life? Or, is it on all the things that you think are wrong in your life.
“Clarity is power. The more clear you are about what you want the more likely you are to achieve it” – Billy Cox
Sit down with yourself, and get clear on what you want. You don’t have to have all the answers, but get an idea of the life you want to live. What do you want to do? Where do you want to live? Which people do you want to spend your time with? etc. Consider these things.
Once you have a good idea of what it is that you want, then write it down. Make a list. A list of the things you want in life, and don’t limit yourself, dream big. Write it down, make it visual for yourself.
Once you have written it down, you can start to work on one goal at a time. Take a goal, and break it down into smaller more manageable steps. Then make a plan on when to do what, and just get started.
If you are someone with big dreams and are looking for some real good motivation, then this book is definitely for you! Today I have a BIG book recommendation for you: The Magic of Thinking Big.
Wauw. This book was amazing! I felt so uplifted and inspired all the way through reading it, and I highlighted so much in it. “The Magic of Thinking Big” by David Schwartz is all about how we limit ourselves by our beliefs. We can only achieve what we let ourselves believe is possible. He encourages people to think BIG!
Most importantly of all, he encourages people to ACT on their dreams & visions. Because without action, you will never reach your dreams. He uses this lovely phrase “Action cures fear“. It is such a great phrase, and something I can definitely recognise. Sometimes we work things up in our head, overthink and everything and we never get to do the things we want to do. However, as soon as we start, flow follows and we find that it really isn’t that hard, we just have to take action and begin.
This book contains everything from how to combat limiting beliefs, how to go after your dreams, how to build confidence, how you are what you think and so much more. I will go as far to say, that this is one of the best books I have ever read, I can highly recommend it!
If we want to grow, stretch and reach our dreams, we also need to get grounded. Plant our roots deep in the ground, so we can grow even higher.
“Flying starts from the ground. The more grounded you are, the higher you fly” – J.R. Rim
Do you have big dreams and visions for your future? I do too, but in order to make those dreams a reality and grow high, we also need to ground ourselves and get the foundational work in place.
Fulfil the Basic Needs
If you’ve ever had a psychology class at some point in your life, you might have heard of ‘Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs‘. This theory explains perfectly the concept of getting yourself grounded, in order to reach your own higher potential.
This pyramid starts from the bottom, the first need all human beings needs to get fulfilled physiological needs; air, water, food, shelter, sleep, clothing, sex. If we have not fulfilled these basic needs, we will not begin to start thinking about the next level in the pyramid, because our mind will then only stay focused on fulfilling our very basic human needs.
In our Western society, majority of us people have the two bottom ‘needs’ in place: physiological and safety needs. What we are working on the top 3 layers; love and belonging, esteem and self-actualisation.
So when I say ‘get grounded’, I mean that in order for you to grow, you first need to have these foundations in place. You need to eat food, sleep well, and have a place you feel safe. But what is also important is your relationship towards others, a sense of belonging, and your own self-esteem. A practice to help you with your self-esteem can be the use of positive affirmations.
Remember, that the highest trees, also have the deepest and strongest roots.
Do you have big dreams and visions you want to fulfil? Look at your own life and see where your foundation is not working, and then start working on that. Perhaps you do not sleep enough? Then start working on that. Perhaps your self-esteem is very low? Then start working on that. So, where in your life, can you work on your foundational work? Share it below, or write it down for yourself, and then start working on it.
Sometimes you just need some motivation or some tips and tools for increasing your productivity or for creating new and better habits. Therefore I have 4 books for exactly that, to share with you today!
Books about Productivity
Eat That Frog! – Brian Tracy
‘Eat That Frog!’ is a brilliant little book. It’s a very easy read and very manageable. It’s about how to overcome procrastination. You might recognise the feeling of putting off that one thing that you just keep on postponing? This book gives you the motivation and reasons for why ‘eating that frog’ as the first thing, is the best thing you can do for yourself.
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People – Stephen R. Covey
This book was one of the first ‘self-development’ books I ever read, and it is about the habits that ‘effective / productive’ people have. It covers several different aspects, such as personal management, seeking to understand first rather than to be understood and many other habits that will change your life.
Books about Creating New Habits
Atomic Habits – James Clear
I’ve already made a more in-depth book recommendation about this book, but this book is all about how creating small tiny changes in your life will add up over time and make a big difference for you. It is better to make a little change, and stick to that little habit over time, than it is to set a way too big and unrealistic goal and quit within a week.
The Power of Habit – Charles Duhigg
‘Atomic Habits’ have many of its principle from ‘The Power of Habit’. I think both books are interesting in their own ways, where ‘Atomic Habits’ are more manageable and give good concrete steps to take, ‘The Power of Habit’ give more insights into the psychology behind habits. Why we have them, and why we can have a hard time breaking some habits. So it’s a really fascinating read, especially if you’re into psychology & understanding the human mind.
Having a Growth Mindset can change your life completely. But you have to learn to see things differently, and think differently from what you have been used to, if you want to get this kind of mindset. Invest in yourself, keep learning, exploring and stay open-minded and life will turn into the most interesting adventure you have ever been on!
Fixed Mindset VS. Growth Mindset
A Fixed Mindset sees ourselves as static beings, like we can’t change how things are for us, our character, intelligence or creativity. However, a Growth Mindset thrives on challenge and views failure as new learning opportunities, and new ways of growth. Our entire life is defined by our mindset. Our relationship with success and failure determines our way towards happiness. If you keep seeing a failure as you being a failure and you get sad and miserable over it, this will affect your life. But, if you instead see failure as just another way to have learned something new, and a springboard towards success, your world-view will be entirely different.
How to Gain a Growth Mindset
Keep learning and exploring new things and ways of thinking. Read books, watch documentaries, talk to new people, listen to podcasts, go to new places
See failure not as a failure, but as an opportunity for growth and learning
Focus on the good things in life & the small joys
See life as Yin & Yang, everything is about balance. You need both in your life
Stop telling yourself limiting beliefs, instead go encourage yourself and talk yourself up
Another’s success does not mean that you cannot succeed. Learn to be happy about other people’s successes, and know that there is more than enough to go around for everyone