Yesterday I was reading in the book “The Four Agreements“* (which is a must-read!) and the quote “Forgiveness is the only way to heal” came up. I have been thinking about this life lessons myself several times in my own life, and now I got reminded to share it with you guys.
In all it’s simplicity it’s about that you will never heal yourself and move on from something if you do not choose to forgive those who you think have hurt or harmed you in any way.
Let me show you an example, if you for example have been dating a guy and find out that he has been dating several others at the same time, then you might feel betrayed and hurt. Over time you will move on, but you will never fully heal yourself until you choose to forgive the guy. This doesn’t mean that you in any way have to go up to the guy and say “I forgive you”. You simply just need to forgive him in your own heart. Know that there could have been several reasons for him doing so, and that it really might not have anything to do with you at all. Choose to look at the things you’ve learned along the way instead. Because of this relation you might have learned how to be more open towards other people, you might also have learned that what you want in a potential partner is someone who is loyal towards you. Realise that you would never have learned these things if you hadn’t had that negative experience, and see it as a blessing. I love the Dumbledore quote (you know, from Harry Potter): “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if only one remembers to turn on the light“.
To take another example, some blame their parents for having given them a certain upbringing. Choose to look at it this way instead – most parents did the best they could with what they had and with the knowledge they had. There’s really no point in holding on to anger or frustration for how you was raised – instead choose to let go, forgive, and choose your own way now.
By holding on to anger, or not wanting to forgive someone, you are only holding yourself back and hurting yourself. All those negative feelings are locked inside you. You might think that you are directing them at someone else, but the only person it is truly hurting – is yourself.
Choose to forgive and you can thereby heal yourself.